Your yoda.

You are wise beyond your years — a sage for the ages blablalba..

"yoda doesnt get red light sabars!..... lime green!"

eh its the june holidays already! i still. dont really believe it. i'll be like.
"oh look! i can paint my nails now! but i dont think i like any of the colours..."
"paint what nails la! its only for one week!"
then ill realise its the entire june ahead of me. and i have a month.

ah this is just sososo weird!
soon im going to realise that my holidays are all gone, and that i havent accomplished a thing!


oh yes. today i attempted to do something artistic. i think it was not bad. hahaha. shall do a red one next time!

hm. was reading my old blog entries. heh. reach camp was soso fun! haha. wonder how the radiate camp will turn out. wonder what we'll do. heh. hope i'll be in ma a nice group. with belle joy. (:


hoho. the cheesecake downstairs smell soso good. i wanna eateateat.

i like it when people say hi to me. or bye. depending when it is. (:


went to church today. had prayer walk. only i forgot to pray. :/ oh well. at least there was the part in room 305. thought it was pretty good. (: although there were only two people from my cell.


lalalala. thats all i think. for today. how uninteresting. oh whatever. when the pastor was praying i felt joy bubbling within me. so much joy i could barely contain it. it made me want to smile, it was in too great to be expressed in that little bit my mouth could stretch, and my face could wrinkle. i wonder what that was.


it was truely amazing watching people get healed, and miracles happen. (:


so you see. church isnt just about youth service. and youknowwhhat. God works wonders in every way. (:

questions.

sometimes i look around and wonder where all my friends went.
or was in merely an illusion?

[161days to the dec hols] [i miss my fringe ):]
yea hes so cool


[161days to the dec hols] [i miss my fringe ):]
just like my NEW PINK electric guiter

flooded with tears.
?

flooded with tears.
huh??

flooded with tears.

really?

flooded with tears.
so cool!

[161days to the dec hols] [i miss my fringe ):]
yepyep

[161days to the dec hols] [i miss my fringe ):]
my mum gave it to me just now!!

flooded with tears.
wah!i want!

[161days to the dec hols] [i miss my fringe ):]
she was like. oh i forgot

flooded with tears.
!!!!

flooded with tears.
ure mom rocks la!

[161days to the dec hols] [i miss my fringe ):]
you have a present

flooded with tears.
ahhhhh

[161days to the dec hols] [i miss my fringe ):]
I SHOW YOU!!

flooded with tears.
[161days to the dec hols] [i miss my fringe ):]
okie.

I then proceeded to change my display picture.

click here. before scrolling down.

.

.

.

.

[161days to the dec hols] [i miss my fringe ):]
yea

[161days to the dec hols] [i miss my fringe ):]
the best part?


[161days to the dec hols] [i miss my fringe ):]
IT BLOWS BUBBLES!

[161days to the dec hols] [i miss my fringe ):]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

and i was feeling all normal again when i saw the old photos.
and my display pic just isnt helping. becuase. well. you know...






):

you know my mums just so wonderful. shes just able to say the right things at the right time, and make me feel better no matter how sad i am. i love her. (: <3

my phone went swimming in a puddle. now its all dead. shit. so aside from having no money, the buttons dont work. now i not only cant reply your messages, i dont even receive them. life sucks.


went to tamagos house. supposedly to exercise but we ended up running only 500m or so. but dont musunderstand. it was in 200m laps. so we walk-ran our way to gimoh. for tamtam rice!! yes its damn nice la. no matter what you say tamago. when they gave it to me the sauce was overflowing, but now i realised it actually isnt enough!


dont you think yr such a bitch


one way, Jesus, Your the only one that i could live for!
tamago likes this song too. (:


ohohoh goodness!! my phone is working again! praise the Lord!

the best part of running[besides the lovely feeling you get] is after you stop, and then all of a sudden feel like puking. so you try to ignoere that feeling and begin to stretch. all of the sudden, the blood rushes to yr head and you get all dizzy, and the puke feeling is gone. haha i just loved that.


sigh im getting damn unfit la. havent exeicised properly in like. three months? now i need to start buidling up my staminar all over again. and i think its worse than before. ahh! i hate that. i hate not being able to run. not even on the cross trainer. i hate being fat and having a tummy. i hate not looking nice. grr.


i wish i could just be like that amazing people. exercise whenever i plan to. non stop. study hard. stop eating crap. lose weight and do well. have strong determination. but no. im the exact opposite. and i fail in everything i try to do. and the worse thing is that its my own fault. i know i could have done well, and i know i could have suceeded. but no. i didnt. becuase i gave up.


you know i was thinking about it the other day. about how. annoying i was [and still am]. and i reaslied that when i look back into my teenage years, im just gonna see years wasted away. im not going to look back and think. oh look. it did this and this and this. and its soo cool and interesting. or. oh i was clever and sucessful back then. i topped my class and won this competition. im just going to look back and go oh. yea. i loved sc. they had really nice mee pok and clean toilets. then i'll change the subject and talk about something more interesting.
but that isnt what i want. i want to look back and be able to smile. i want to know that i've donw something meaningful, something that i will not regret. [i have alot of regrets over the last two years] even if its just. getting fit and getting closer to God. that would be really wonderful.


i want to stop wasting away my time. but yet. its hardd.

i dont wanna stop bathing. ever.

[166days to the dec hols] [red and white and jeans. (:] says:
guess what!?
[ying] i can do it! says:
hey
[ying] i can do it! says:
yeah wad
[166days to the dec hols] [red and white and jeans. (:] says:
i saw sylvester!
.
.
.
[ying] i can do it! says:
haha
[ying] i can do it! says:
he shopping with maia ah
[166days to the dec hols] [red and white and jeans. (:] says:
no
[166days to the dec hols] [red and white and jeans. (:] says:
DAPHNE!!
[166days to the dec hols] [red and white and jeans. (:] says:
gasp
[166days to the dec hols] [red and white and jeans. (:] says:
ANDAND
[166days to the dec hols] [red and white and jeans. (:] says:
THEY WERE WATCHING A MOVIE!
[ying] i can do it! says:
OMG!
[ying] i can do it! says:
SCANDALOUS!
[ying] i can do it! says:
SO YOU SAW DAPHNE TOO?


-squeals excitedly she sees sylvester-
mum: oo. is he with maia?
me: no..
mum: is he with maia?
me: no he isnt! ..oh goodness! hes with DAPHNE!

and from many others. hurhur.

today was a highly enjoyable day! why? becuase alot of enjoyable things happened! such as seeing sylvester! (: (: (:


this the short story:
i went to watch a movie today. and so did sylvester!!
i doubt anyone wants to ever listen to my long story so i shall be nice and not type it here. everyone clap!


so i went to watch starwars today. i decided that i support the dark side! becuase they use red light sabers. and. well. i like dark chocolate [mnms]. haha. how cool. it was nice la. yep. erm. full stop.


so i went shopping with my auntie and cousin. girls shop for pretty clothes and bags and shoes, while guys look bored and buy fake daggers. yea. i was actually pretty shocked when my cousion said he was coming. immiately images of how bored he would be flashed through my mine. but i didnt bother to warn him lest he thought i was meann or something. haha. too bad la. i bought a shirt. a shirt. and i shave spotted my shoes and shall buy it some time in the near future. finally something affordable. whee. (:


church was. ahh!! red and white and jeans. (: its simply fatefatefatefate! i think only belle joy and zoe [and maybe ting wei and jia yun] know what im saying. well. belle joy i talked about you you better tag! so yea. i seiously was about to stop. but then the red was revealed from beneath. i screamed inwardly. hahaha.


today erm someone gave announcments. i was totally supportive and screamed alot and loudly. i usually dont. haha. and i purposly screamed after everyone stopped. wowwow. so nice. :D


got prayed for. for the gift of tounges. i felt it. a little. Praise God! it shall grow!!

shoes.

looking at theses just make me feel soosoo sad.
click
click
click
click
and finally.. only at $39
click

doing a project on watches wasnt exactly a very wise choice. all of a sudden you find yourself liking so many you know you just cant afford. and its not just one.


i love the ralph lauren model! shes just sooo damn chio!! ahh! i can just sit there and stare at her. haha. i like the ralph lauren advertisements. and boss. and gucci. and ck and all the other brands. thats really stupid becuase beucase are looking at the stuff they sell and im there staring at the advertisement going oh this is so nice. then all of a sudden you'll realise you like the clothes or shoes or whatever and start feeling sad.


i think yr beginning to get the hint. that makes me feel alot better and happier and sunnier. but. i dontknow. sometimes its just a little weird. hahaha.


i'll miss miss sie. ):

how to make you hair all nice and standing
[like in those stupid hong kong shows, just after a bomb exploded in front of your head]

difficulty: easy
time taken: im not too sure. but you'll probably being doing sth else too so zero.
materials: water, shampoo, your hair[short] and the mystery miricle item!

how:

1. wash your hair. if you want it to be nice and smooth later you can put conditioner. but dont put the lo'real anti frizz thing becuase your hair will be too smooth and slide off your head. [fine i made that up]
2. towel dry your hair. or you can watch tv for like 10 mins.
3. then you use the mystery item. you sit in front of it for half an hour or so. until all your hair dries. and you'll find it all nice and standing!
4. you might want to use 2-4 of the mystery item for full effect. unless of course yr mystery item is stronger/bigger/better than mine. then you might only need one.

you must be wondering what the mystery item is. ok i'll tell you. its a fan! (:

wouldnt it be nice it the world was cadburry... yes i think it would be veryvery nice! like seriously. the stupid people has place that first on my wishlist. "a world make of chocolate". oh but it cannt be those cheapo kind that smells of fish. [yes. i ever taste chocolate that smelt it fish. i was damn sick. those cheapo chocolate coin one that nanyang gave me] but like. dove and hersheys and then. where i live. the more expensive brands. haha.
i mean. its really a very good thing. maybe you say will say. "but i will get fat! i mean with all the chocolate all over i will just have to keep eating it!" but no! that wont happen. in fact you'll be skinner than you've ever been! you can even chose what shape you want. [winkwink jingxuan] you see right. when you get too fat, all you need to do is to eat some of yourself! then you'll have more chocolate in you and you'll grow fat again, but you just need to eat more of yrself again! so you just keep eating away yr fat and sometime later your fat will jsut dissapear becuase energy is used in digestion. brilliant plan! and dont worry you wont get cancer or diabetes or anything becuase the water and plants and flowers are made of chocolate. eating vegetables and drinking water will only make you healthier. and glow. hahaha.


wish me goodluck for me emaths tomorrow!
and whatthehell. i did draw the girl.

what the hell. domainlx just has to die on the day after i complete my blogskin. now to one gets to appreciate its beauty and tag me.


oh well. ermph. yes. i made this blogskin myself. everyeverything. even drew all the pictures. so tag k. to tell me how wonderful i am. when the pictures come back.


went to suntec with my family again. haha. havent been there in a pretty long time. yep. shopping once again reminded me how fat and ugly and gross i am. so i got pretty much depressed. so much so that i didnt turn my clothes the right way back for the sales girls. i didnt give it to her neatly too. jsut one huge clump. well to bad. im a freaking fat bitch.


you called me today. i seriously dont know what to do anymore. ive tried to control myself, i bitched to my friends, ive bitch to my family. ive been mean to you. but its just getting worse. im just getting to see more and more of what you're really like. more of what i dont want to see. i mean. it was so obvious you just called me to boast. to make me feel jealous, and to make me feel bad. its not like you really wanted to talk to me or anything. it wasnt because you were excited and wanted to tell me. she was that way when she talked to me. i can tell you know. oh. and i wasnt sad at all. i didnt regret. i felt much better the moment i hang up. whatever negative feelings you tried to give me were gone... except the feelings about you.
the bible says i should handle it with love. but sometimes, its just so hard.

ps. green is not my favourite colour! i still love red.

i just found myself gasping when i saw wang ren fu's picture. gross. well. thankfully it wasnt an ohmygoodnesshessocute! gasp oh an ahh!wangrenfu gasp. more like an. oh mygoodness whats he doing here. (:


went for flag day today. it sucked as usual. i was so super enthu i didnt even slack and my bag was so heavy and i was so tired. grr. they should give me like extra hours or sth. yea. went with tamago. damn funny la. she was super loser cos no one wanted to donate to her. and i was smart enough to spot people so i had all the donations. i meanlike seriously la. all the people she recomand me to ask all suck. unlike the people i recomand her. haha. in the end she got so depressed i let her have all the nice people. then her bagt was like as heavy as mine la! blabla. did the watch thing and the guy was just soso nice. haha. we completed it like so quickly la!


church was good. as usuall. today i was clever and ran to the front early and chose the place! which was nearly totally accurate, until someone came and stole it while i was praying. haha how sad. hm. but i thought God taught me quite alot during worship. that was pretty surprising. this week i have been learning so much while praising God. i mean. i always thought worship was about praising God. little did i expect i myself would benifit from it! yep. but i think i still need to ponder over what He told me. and pray over it.


haha.when we were praying for the stepper belle joy was so stupid la. lol. she was like. oh look! see the names under sonic edge? the first letters of the first three names make out MGS!

SONIC EDGE:
Marcus Wong
G... sth
S... sth
lol. so stoopid la! but dont you think my memories soso good? hur.


the preacher was soo! i could feel God's prescence really strongly in the place. i mean even not im not realy sure how it feels like. but i think it was. everyone the preacher touched fell. and they were lying on the floor crying. i didnt get touched by him. but i felt my teeth and chattering and just that weird feeling you get in your heart. yep. and the guy in front of me, his knees were wobbling%2

oh yay. im happyhappyhappy. clever SuMIn has completed all the pictures needed! soon my new blog skin will be up! made by mememe and entirely me.


stayed back for aeromodelling today. i reallyreally didnt want to. but oh well. at least it turned out fine. (: our plane flew! its flying is reallyreally random. even worse than tamago and jamin's. lol. it was like. facing vertically up, spinning it circles. coolness. hope we win. hope out plane just doesn die too soon.


sigh. i wanna go do my blog. tata. (:

[this is the lastlast red entry. sad]

grr. im beginning yo get junk mail in my inbox. notfairnotfairnotfair. i mean i know its nomal. i was like kinda enjoying my. abnormalness.


today i stupid insect shitted on my geog file. damn sick la! it like landed on my geog file and i nearly touched it. then when i chased to away and it flow off i found this disgusting yellow glob! damn sick la. yukyuk.


i forgot everything i wanted to say. i hope mrs yeo is alright. and they will tell us what happened tomorrow. hm.

sometimes you think you have everything. and you feel all nice and happy. but then when you turn yr head and look carefully, you realise everything is gone. what you have been looking at was simply illusions. shadows. and there you are. standing all alone in darkness.


grr. i just cantcant write. hm. on tues miss chua talked to us about her mother. she died of cancer. hearing that just made to feel soo badd. it made me realise how self centered and selfish i am. i mean there we were in class rejoicing becuase she didnt come to school, and becuase be had a free period. but yet. she was somewhere else greiving and crying. how could we ever have rejoiced at her misfortune? we didnt even reaslie how many people were out there mourning over the loss of their loved one. all we cared about was ourselves. i mean so what if we dont like the teacher. so what if we dont like chinese or geog or whatever. even if she didnt come simply becuase shes sick, shes still suffering out there. it made me realise how heartless it is to cheer whenever a teacher is absent. itsnt it the same and wishing shes sick all year round?


blabla. im bored.

iloverediloveredilovered. <3>

in school using the comp now! haha. free period. dont even know if we're allowed here. hurhur. if i get into trouble im just gonna die. hur. we were so wetarded. rushing to the library. then the librarian saw us and lifted up the sign. "computers are not avalible. please proceed to com lab and 3"


hm. let me tell you a story. kae ting and I came up with it!

one day, sylvester decided he was too hawt. so he went to buy a slurpee! [that was kae ting's] and he got a brain freeze! again and again and again! X)


lalala.

happy mothers day!

hm. wish me luck for my chinese test tomorrow. i had nice dinner today. red.

fallen.

fallenfallne. hur. went to jing xuans house for CME. hm. maybe i shouldnt have suggested the takuya thing. oh goodness they went mad. like seriously. badbad move. but out picture turned out pretty nice. we spent like eons on it. haha. to change the camara thing in his hand to a sushi! lol. it was like super funny la. (:


hm. went to church. and belle joy and ruth were like. suaning me becuase i spent twenty minutes in the toilet. and move slowly. and eat slowly. and like to eat popiah. and like to stalk pauline soh. and whatever else i cant remember. i mean i only have three words okayy. i do not! and they said that theyb should make a movie of my life. but belle joy and ruth. i tell you k! the movies gonna very intresting and popular and i'll get all famous and rich becuase life is interesting! and everybody loves me. andand. i know yr jealous of my belt! yesyes. i saw through yr ploy belle joy! yr evil ploy of making me too fat for my belt so you can steal it and wear it! but i tell you im too clever and i exposed it and anyway church saved me! >)


hm. sometimes things just get too weird. like yr walking and you see this guy in a cap. and you say to yrself. ew pleaseplease dont let it be whoever. [it was an ugly cap. and it didnt suit. that whoever] and it isnt. but then you walk into service and when you see that whoever, he is wearing a cap! and you go yukyukyuk how gross. and then when you see him again, he isnt! but then you;re still not happy and you go ew hes hair is so gross today. [you see the cap killed it] but then. when you look again, hes wearing the cap! lol. it was just. weird. hahaha.


God gave me a splended family. and wonderful parents. i love Him. (:


but i dont love ____ becuase ____. >(

sometimes, its only when something around dissapears that you realise how much you love it. but yet. sometimes, its also when the thing is placed before you, when you recall its ugliness, see its flaws, and feel the... negative thoughts. saddening isnt it.


hm. zoe came back today. i think shes bent on spreading her sickness to me. i mean she sat like so near me! and she coughed into my paper. luckily i was clever and gave it to her. ..or maybe that was just some ploy of hers. just like what she said the doctor said. hur.


geog test as hm. annoying. just like that bitch who cut my queue. seriously. i mean she pissed me off so much i didnt wanna eat. i mean if you cut the queue is fine. even that stinkeyy girl who cut the queue didnt really piss me off. not like i havent cut people's queue before right? but it was only two people! two. and she still had to cut la. bloody problem.


hm. i found two pairs of heels. the nicer ones cost erm. $70, and the notsonicebutstillnotbad one costs $40. haha. should i or should i not. my sister days not. but i like!!

i got my gold! yay! elation. hur. didnt really do well for 2.4 but still. its good enough. haha. unless i remember my timing wrongly and got a D. bahh. then i'll have to run again. hm. should i? i mean i know i could have done alotlot better. only i didnt..well. bother? hahahaha. i walked naerly every single round! surprising that i actually managed to pass! lol. woot! :P


hm. zoe hasnt been coming to school these two days. i normally dread sitting alone. but now i find it pretty.. pleasent. haha i dont know. its just like. personal time to myself. when i can be all alone and stone during lessons. [but i do pay attention sometimes!] and i can just sit there and shut up and think about.. well. (: though not really la.


hm what else. geog test tomorrow. im scared.

there are stuff happening in my that i cant control. stuff that i dont want to happen. but yet. what can be done? i only have three words. and three words. and three words. idontwantidontwantidontwaaaaaant!!! grrr. i'll stop this i tell you. i can.


im seriously freaking out for my 2.4 its tomorrow's tomorrow. thats thursday! and. im just totally unprepared. i havent ran in two weeks. thats like. baad. andand. i want an A. so badly. its come to the time where its not about an A anymore. more like a C. just enough to get me a gold. everyone everywhere has been getting lower than their targets. it just freaks me out. too much.


physics test tomorrow. grr. unprepared. howhow. this entry is pretty pessimistic. thats just about how i feel now. bahh. the coughs spreading well. hurhur. best parts that im recovering! X) i erm. fell out of love. after spreading it to the entire world.(: (:

i just wanna thank God. for everyeverything He has given to me. and done for me. and for making my life so.. livable. sometimes we just take too many things for granted.


hm. last night i dreamt of matai. haha. it was really weird. i mean the dream just came out of no where. i wasnt even really thinking about cambodia [besides when i wore my track pants and remembered i wore it in cambodia] and today alecia messaged me to ask me to send her the cambodia photos. yea so anyway. i dreamt that i went to cambodia. with i think my mission team and some other people. then they told me that i wouldnt be able to see matai. and i was like super depressed. like i couldnt pay attention to anything i did. and even scalded my hand when i poured water for someone. yea. so everyone was freaking pissed with me. cos i was acting like some lovesick freak. then.then. for some reason, i got to see matai! i cant remember how but anyway i did. and he remembered me. i asked alot of times. and he knew exactly who i was! andand. well. stuff happened. (:


hm. i got new shoes!! the nike one that no one wears anymore. but still. lub. haha its for school. but im afraid i'll get booked. howhow. ): but still. its nice. and i finally got sports shoes. finally. been waiting since like forever. although i never really asked for a pair. but. still.


im freaking out badly for my 2.4 i mean im getting sososo unfit! gah. howhow?

hm. kae ting and jing xuan just left. haha. they stayed over last night! lol. it was alot funner than we all expected. thought it would turn out to be some sianish flop.


kae ting and zoe came at 1sth. and we watched spirited away!! haha. i cant believe zoe doesnt know about my third floor. i mean i knew her since sec one and she came over so many times. oh well. i missed the best part cos i went to church. haha. nows them part i have to focus on belle joy.


church was funfun. i went for cell and belle joy was there! she was sitting on adelines bed. yes. then when we had cell she sat one place away from me. next to ruth. no fair. [:/]ya so anyway. so after cell we went to the hawker centre. yea. i saw the entire [edit] group. but he wasnt there. i mean even the guy hes always with was there. but just not him. hm. pretty depressing. haha. then i made belle joy come with me to buy food. and oh! he was there! haha. only i didnt look cos it was too obvious [oh goodness. this is history repeating itself all over again.] so i bought ice kachang! haha. yay! (: and. ahem. i shall stop talking about him. esp all the winkwink parts. becuase... yea. becuase.


service rocked as usual. haha. pauline soh came to say hi to me. and got daoed again. haha. this time it really wasnt my fault. i did mean to talk to her. and well. find out. only she had to came at the most unapporate moments. oh fine. but i did turn my head when i saw her first for the first time.


i think worship was nice. we sang nice songs. like one way. haha. it made me wanna laugh. haha i stood behind. becuase.. and there was this stinkeyy guy in front of me. only i didnt wanna ask tab to move because it was rude. and well. yea. pastor bee preached about erm. talents. then i went to meet zoe and jing xuan and kae ting. yea. waited so super long. so too bad for kae ting. she missed seeing her jay chou.


yea. i brought zoe into church to show her something. only of course i didnt tell jing xuan and kae ting what i was showing her. and they got freaking pissed. like seriously. you cant expect me to tell you everything. when you dont keep secrets, make fun of me, and insult my taste. either that of you totally rip off my ideas and claim it as or own. oh oops. i think i just insulted someone. so yea. we were so stupid. the 2nd time i went in i just felt soo retarded i pretended to be looking for my notebook. which doesn really exist.


came home and spent the night playing cards, watching movies, peeing, and talking. hur. woke up and 11sth. freezing. we went for lunch with my parents and grandparents and some hotel at raffles sth. the food there pretty much sucks. dont go.


that was when zoe got pissed with us. but we shant talk about that. becuase its not a nice thing to talk about. went shopping and bout two nice shirts. hm. im depressed. the shoes i want cost $99 each. and the back 70. >(