i try so hard to forgive you, but everytime i look at meself the hatred bubbles up again.


10 things you want:

1. red pencil case
2. nike watch
3. my fringe
4. new phone
5. nike handbag
6. levis bag[s]
7. that belt
8. heelsheels
9. Dicky Cheung!
10. wah i cant think of so many things at once la swatch watch strap

9 things you love:

1. red.
2. my bolster
3. my bed
4. my camara
5. the feeling you get after running
6. sleeping
7. my squash raquet
8. church!
9. foodfood.

8 days you like:

1. sundays
2. saturdays
3. christmas
4. new year (chinese)
5. my birthday
6. new years eve (english)
7. and chinese
8. holidays

7 things you saw:

1. the clouds
2. my mee pok
3. physics tys
4. sound of music
5. black marker
6. hauru!
7. my fone

6 things you hear:

1. the tv
2. the fan
3. myself typing
4. the fone ringing
5. music
6. me sniffing

5 people you talked to:

1. ting wei
2. zoe
3. oldest sister
4. my mum
5. my 2nd sister

4 places you visited

1. school
2. the toilet
3. tony and guy
4. church

3 things you look forward to"

1. my brithday
2. shopping
3. party!

2 things to do:

1. stone
2. tell lame jokes

1 thing you hate:

1. that bloody hairdresser.

i think hauru is hot. like. still. i dont care how outdated i am. hauru is hothothothothot. (:


cant wait for the sonic edge festival! even though its like. what. three months away. yep. im all excited. planet shakers and hillsongs united [and many many more!] and going to play! thats like. how cool. everybody must come. i dont care. (:


today was erm. boring. i stayed at home the entire day and felt bad for not studying. hm. i really really need to do well for my chem test tomorrow.

here i am. chatting with two guys. ones talking to me about Dicky and the other hauru. and both of them are, directly or in directly, asking me if i want to be with dicky/hauru. and i say yes and they will want me and they both tell me its impossible and wake up. talk about mean friends. who tell lies.


this morning i was just thinking about when i was young. and one of my biggest self-attenable wishes was to be fat.ter but now im all fat and gross i want to be thin again. life is just sosos unfair. we should just be like inflatable of something.


went to church today. youth service and it rocked as usual! (: sang mostly oldold songs during service. like those i used to sing during SPK. nevertheless. it was really meaningful. it had all something to do with Jesus dying for us, and rising again. (: the song during offering was "Lord I life yr name on high" halfway through the song i realised i could sing it with my mind entirely on something else. hm. not good.


sermon was on building bridges. halfway through i really needed to pee. so yea. you can see i couldnt pay my full attention.): i listened though. it was really meangingful. about building bridges. yep. jesus is a bridge for us. and we are to extend the bridge out to others! yep. and i thought the video thing was nice. lol. hannah was like so embarassed. but i thought she was pretty good. haha. cant believe she didnt tell us! lol. then caem the best part. we crossed the bridge! that was like. how cool. haha.


pastor glenn was like so dao. i went to hi to him after service. becuase im friendly and unproud and he gave me that okayy. why are you here look. what i was like how extra la!! shouldnt have listened to him humph.


i want to go to sonic fest!!


tennineeight more days.

today is good friday. the day jesus died for us on the cross to cleanse us of our sins. i think i havent really got down to thanking God yet. and come to think of it, i havent done my Qt. oh well.


went to church today. for the "visual sermon" didnt really get most of it. but certain parts were pretty sad. youknowwho was being youknowhat as usual and i got youknowwhat and youknowwhated and she youknowwhated. ok fine. i couldnt think of any other you know somethings for youknowwhatever.


went to my ah tios funeral. it was pretty saddening. i mean i dont really know him and everything. he just used to be his man sitting quietly watching tv when i went to visit my da yi and minmin and yingying and tingting. and i would see him and not know what to call him and freak out. oh well.


came back and went to shing shong. bought lots and lots of food. yes. it made me real happy. the bestest thing is that everythings so cheap. well. cheaper. haha. i mean we spend alot less. bought lots of biscuits. ie cowhead. oh goodness i love that. yea. im all prepared to get fat. like a cow. i just cant wait for tuesday. when i get to cut my hair. its getting so darn out of shape now. i just want to shave bald. oh yes. thats only for the 22nd of each month right. :P


went to this chinese high resturant for dinner. it was pretty good. haha. had sharks fin. oh goodness i miss it! i mean the one we had at new year was all watery. and without crab. unlike this one. then there was like sea bass [i dont usually eat fish] and other yummilicious things. stuffed. (:

zoe amuses me. she thinks that one marshmellow has one calory. like. good luck to her diet. haha. i think it should be at least 10. hm. 50g is 159 calories. haha. i cant believe i went to check. do you know that there are twenty three different colours of m&ms to choose from? you can also print a message on it! random.

english today was funny. we had to write this news paper articlee. with the proper format. and we wrote about sylvester!! about erm. how he broke up with maia becuase of his three wives. and he married her becuase he was drunk, and mistook her for one of his wives. ahaha. (: then we like pasted hauru's picture as the journalist and pasted our picture and drew maia and sly. lol. we were damn high la.


banners nearly done. good job SuMIn! [and zoe and ting wei] (:

i, me, promise that by the 23rd march 2006, and this time, i shall be [edit]. ok that was private. wait yew laurgh at moi howz?


school today was erm. normal. yea. i love mrs logan! shes the bestest funniest teacher ever. hahaha. although chem lessons always seem rather loong. but shes so funny!

i want to runrunrunrunrun. only i cant. ): and i want my nike watch. and a new phone cover. i want i want i want. and to think i just re-wrote my english essay about the tsunami. about erm. how i realised that materials are unimportent. and i no longer care about clothes and phones and camaras and whatever thing. *coughs* yea right.


i think the mee pok queue is getting shorter. that makes me happy. (: or maybe i should start being healthy for recess. like today. i had yoghurt[crap.] for dinner. and one kiddo. kiddos rock! (: that was becuase i just ran and everyone had dinner already. haha. so i just took my yoghurt so i could eat in front in the tv. with company. now i all hungry again. :/


run through it, ran through it.
what the heck la. its no big deal.

updated wishlist. (:(:

kae ting came over today. we watched spirited away! haha. whats his name? haku. yea. but i dont think hes goodlooking. haha. haurus the best. im not going into anime. but the show was nice. although it was just missing.. well. hauru. (:


zoe came and we went to church. failed to come up with a plan. saddening. so we just stood and the entrance maybe prepared to do something impromptu. but she just didnt turn up! so we gave up and went in. and then zoe was like "miss soh!"and we all turned and looked and oh goodness! miss soh was there! and she seemed really happy to see and was was smiling really widely and waving non stop. [edit] oh and we saw her boyfriend! hahaha.


had worship and service. worship was nicenice as usual (: zoe thinks its super cool. i think kaeting was pretty lost. haha. hope she wont get scared away or sth. :/ ohoh. blablabla thinks pastor glenn is gdlooking!! and she liked him for like 10 mins. lol. i was like suaning her. hahaha. chatting with her on the fone now. she hopes her boyfren will dress like that. haha. [edit].


i dont wanna talk about the sermon cos someones gonna read this. winkwink. :P then after church kae ting and zoe xcame over. and we saw sylvester sing! haha kae ting and i are gonna cut our hair like sly!! haha. i think it'll totally kill me. lol.

today whatever diet of eat in moderation and healtily crap was thrown away. today was all about oil, stuffing yrself, sugar, fat. putting on weight. and no doubt i did today. alot. anhd i didnt exercise. i woke up too late for my 5k. plat. ):


today, shopping sucked becuase:

1. i did not buy anything. anything
2. i didnt get my hair cut
3. i didnt watch a movie
4. i didnt see anyone i know [dont ask. i always seem to]
5. i didnt see dicky. or sylvester. or hauru. or matai

but then right after zoe left, i saw mag!! then i knew that the day was about to take a turn, and i would buy something. and i did!

met zoe to cut my hair. only to find out that the placed closed down. so yea. we went all the way to bugis only to find out it was under renovation crappish! yea. then at suntec we found another one. and zoe and ting wei were like telling me to cut. but then i said that all the people were old and my hair would probebly turn out really auntie. and they said it wouldnt. so we were just standing there watching the people cut their hair. then suddenly, the scissors seemed to spin out of the guys hands, and he nearly cut the old mans ear! gosh. like how freaky is that.

shopping was gross la. nth seemed to fit me. my 19.90 jeans cost 60 all of a sudden. and my levis bag dissapeared. and so did everything i like. whateevr la. i just wanted to like. die or something. lunch was nice though. erm. teriyaki chuicken. hm.

no mmod to blog. let me tell you about my dream. i dreamt of matai last night. i miss him. ): let me tell you about my dream. for some strange reason me and this whole large group of people were like being locked up. like some war thing, and everyone goes to prison? and i just knew that we were going to be tortured. so of course i didnt wanna go. anyway they all forced us in and i was like. staring at the prison guards. and i decided that one of them looked cambodian. so i asked if if he was cambodian and he was yes and stood up and got all excited. and even though the chance was soo tiny. i asked him if he knew matai. and he said yes!! and he got even more excited and he pulled me away from the crowd and ran off with me somewhere and brought me to this place. and there was matai! sitting on the chair! ahh. matai so hawt so hawt.(:

now that my diets all gone, lifes looking much better! i mean besides the fat. i wanna wake up early tomorrow. then i realised my parents would be sleeping. bahh.


went to adelines house for cell today. yay i got my "i kissed dating goodbye!" haha. how exciting. and adeline cooked for us. well she pretended she was going to cook for us becuase all she made was the potato salad. oh. and she cut the mushrooms! haha. shant be mean anymore. :/


fatfatfatfat. what do i do now that my diets all gone?
today i ate:

1. half a sausage bread and half a cranberry bread
2. mee pok and two fried wan tons
3. spaghatti with sushi and rojak and salad
4. peel fresh white grape alo vera
5. 2 1/2 wangwangs.

yea. fatt.

im proud to announce. i have offically ended my diet.


it was the doughnut. that doughnut. it simeply spoilt everything. i mean my diet was going on pretty well. let me tell you what i ate today.

1. one ham and cheese sandwitch
2. 2/3 cup peel fresh white grape alovera [half and one third]
3. fried rice for lunch
4. 20 or so corn brands [i was hungry!]
5. a tiny peice of pear
6. rice with sweet and sour pork and portugese chicken
7. 1 and a quarter doughnuts
8. one merci chocolate [preline]

so you see. my diets all gone. i had like. gazillion calories stuffed down my body. oh well. cant be helped. i mean my sister bought doughnuts today. and my other sister started eating it. and oh goodness i looked sososo good! so i said "i think i should end my diet." and i did! haha. i think it was worth it. and the chocolate too. (:

so right after that i called zoe and said" zoe this is SuMIn. i am proud to announce that i have offically ended my diet" then i hung up. for effect. though it was pretty much ruined becuase she replied before i could hang up. but. haha. too bad.

oh. and i didnt have yogurt and apple for dinner today. actually i was considering bananas. but well. i was hungry la.

thats all about today i think. aero modelling was crap. and chem tys was a killer. i only did like. one. oh well. that sucked.

day2.

today i did something i never imagined i would. something that I have never even thought of doing, never in my life. tell you what it is later. (:


my diet plans showing only a slight improvement. im still eating alot. although i am now able to list the things ive eaten. which is a really good start. ok hm. things i ate today.

1. ham and cheese sandwitch with cereal. as in the one you put in milo and drink. [higest metebolism. i figured]
2. peel fresh guava
3. beehoon with two peices of fried chicken and a little egg
4. i cup of peel fresh white grape alovera [two half cups]
5. half an orange
6. two brownies. [one was rather large):]
7. bread. cranberry and olive or sth.
8. apple and yogurt.
   

so as you can see i ate alot. and im supposed to be dieting. and i did zero leglifts today. [i did 40 yest]. and im confiding every single little detail of my diet to my blog. goodness.

went to school for the aero modelling thing today. jia yun forgot. i cant believe that. we went to the toilet to call her. and apprantly she was "at home sleeping" lol! so erm yea. it was pretty much a waste of time. our wing broke.

today i ran 5k. in 30mins. :D yes. that was what it was all about. im proud of myself. (: played hillsongs in my mums room. that took my through. hm. halfway in the running i was practically saying gasping the words out. no tune. but yes. i think this is good. im proud of myself. [repetition]. grins. (:

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testin. but yes. hes hawt.

zoes getting freaky. scary. ): anyway. my diet plan was more or less a failure. but that doesnt matter. becuase i stil have my entire life ahead! [until i start losing weight] so yea. so SuMIn! you can go it!


haurus too hot. i do not go to jap animae. only him.

worship

yest during worship, i couldnt help but notice this woman in front, dressed in blue, dancing to the music and waving her arms around. then i thought to myself. whats she doing? does she realise shes the only one doing this? then it came to me. i realised that worship was all about God, and not the people around you. she was the only one focasing on God himself, and rejoicing in His name, just as the cambodians did. they didnt care what others thought of them, as all that was in their mins was worshipping God.

i realised that i am still unable to do that. to focus on God alone, and ignore my surroundings. when will i be able to?

today i stayed at home and did maths. wow. what a good girl. like yeaa right. i nearly died la. its like how sian. like when i started i was like. ahh!! i got this right! im so clever!! then ohoh i got this right again. i feel so smart! but by the time i got to question 10 i was already half dead. like there was part a, b, c, d! and sometimes e!


ok nvm. shant talk about that. went to church this morning. like early in the morning. thankfully i felt more awake then i usually feel when i go to the sunday morning services. haha didnt like the speaker though ended up smsing belle joy. [real smsing. haha] who was like telling me how prefect i was. kidding.


im fatfatfat. ):

happy birthday grandpa! :D


yea. hes 85. how exciting right. we had a celebration [dont know if i can call it party]. thats why i missed church. cant wait for next week though! even if it means schools starting again. haha. sats just seem incomplete without church.


woke up this morning afternoon all ready to go sun tanning. i mean before i lose my tan entirely. [its beginning to fade off] so i went downstairs bringing with me sunblock and two story books. and i met my mum. who told me i was mad. [it was 12] so i waited till like three. which was supposedly a better time to go in the sun. and i told my sister i was gonna go sun tanning. and she told me i was mad again. "... yes! afternoon sun makes you tan! but it also makes you have skin cancer!" ok fine. so i didnt go. all the excitment for nth. someday i shall wake up at 8 and go sleep out in the garden. humph.


yea. sharon didnt come today. bleah. but the food was nice. i got full really quickly. then we just sat around and talked. haha. pretty much boring. without my companion. haha. nah. i dont feel like blogging bout the thingy. nth much happened. byebye.

boo.

i passed my maths test! yes! praise the Lord. once again His grace pulled me through. i mean passing is clearly impossible with my understanding of log. but then, prayer always works! yay. and erm. trusting Him for my lit test. again. i mean i dont see how but God works miricles. yay.


tues:
had this tea making thing. kae ting jing xuan and i were laming around as usual. esp when it we drank the tea. becuase the woman said that even though the cup is very small, we must drink it in three sips. so kae ting and jing xuan and i would like do the cheers thing and say "sly!" everytime we drank. then we had to keep making more tea becuase he didnt have enough of slying.


basically life has been boring these few days. oh yes. i mortal knows who i am. after like. the first letter. talk about losers.


thats about it. i want my watchwatchwatchwatchwatch.

love.

<3.>youu*. so bad.
<3
<3>
<3
<3

good morning! heh. i just felt like saying that. dont ask why. hm. im lonely now. no one to talk to on online. plat. boreeeeeeeed.


first day of school after OBS. i think i just wasted my entire term away. the years fault i tell you! its so arranged that just before i get into the studying mood more holidays come. then i start to slack again. oh well. havent been doing well in any tests. just got back two today. oh well. lets just say i scraped through again. the usual failing then asking for marks and passing [for phys.] andandand. for lit, i passed!

went to gimo hawker centre for lunch today. it was pretty sad. i mean everything was closed. all i got to eat was the duckrice. and abolling [howveer you spell that] and the waffle/pancakes. and i stole some erm. carrot cake. like damn sad la. the beef kuey tiao stall dissapeared. like tamgos towel. and the nicenicen dessert stall was closed. i mean when will i ever get to try those yummilicious food my sister was talking about for a year? oh well. the food was nice la. (:


came home. had this like.1/2 dunno what marathon. i mean a weeks worth of it. haha. not bad la. i like that show. that christopher lee person is so sweet! lol.


hm. i shall go continue my obs post. (:

hm. day one back from obs. yes. i think i woke up pretty early. with a stomache ache. i shitted like trice since yest. theres gonna be a forth soon. yesyesyes. outcome of constipating yrself for five days. hm. i regret not shitting in the open. hahaha. something i wanted to try. but i was just too lazy to dig the hole. hahaha.


went to church today. it was funfun! as uaual. hahaha. cell was bout dating again. i love listening to all those interesting stories! lol. oh and pastoe glenn preached!! he was so funny. hahaha. and yea. sermon was really meangingful. about worship. yep. think i should change my attitude. hm.


was showing off my tan to everyone!! even jonlo. lol. cheryl said im alot tanner. and i was wearing my jacket so she could only see my face. grin.


qt today was about consistency. hm. i felt bad. but this time its really God speaking directly to me. i mean after not doing my qt for like 5 days. thwn this comes. yes. i lvoe it when god talks to me. haha.


im like rushing. thats cos im on the fone with zoe. i made her hold on so i could finish this. :P ta.

i'm back!!
civilisation!

i miss home. i miss hot water. . I miss clean toilets. I miss nice food. I miss the car. I miss my friends. I miss the television.I miss my family I miss the computer. I miss my Dicky. I miss my fone. I miss blogging. I miss my bolster. I miss hot/cold milo. I miss my glasses. I miss eating whatever i want. I miss slacking. i miss my bed. I miss my blanket. I miss not having insects near me. I miss you*.


i got tanned!! yes i did i did! and i have a plaster tan to prove! hahaha. that sucks. and i shouldnt have worn such a big shirt. :/ it made the t-shirt tan so low! hm. anyway it was fun la. though i was sianess on the first two days. perked up on the third. hahaha. tamago kept telling me she never knew i had a serious side. and that it was good and i should show it more often. hahaha. i mean. that isnt my serious side la. its my like blackest face. or sianned face. i cant remember which. hahaha. whatever.


day 1:
off to OBS! was pretty excited. wishing real hard to be in ting wei/kaeting/jiayuns group. bleah i wasnt. but tamago was with me la. and vanassa. so i guess it wasnt so bad. haha. out instructor is Cindy. hm. no comments. k la. quite nice. haha. then tamago and I were like saying how we should have gotten a Male Malay instructor. cos they are the best. haha. then we started pitching our tents. and went to kayak. but it rained. so we just ate dinner. (: haha. our tents were so nice. like our group pitched it the fastest and it was like the best tents. yay marco polo. (:i slept at night la. suprisingly. haha. bathed. in the stinkeyy toilets.


day2:
mini trek down the base 1. for the rainbow at the end of it. turned out to be kayaking. hm. it was fun. we did capsise drill. and tamago's glasses fell into the sea. ofcourse the list goes on. hm. her pe shirt got blown away by the wind, her towel dissapeared into midair, her slippers nearly got swept away by the flood and her bra got stolen by dogs. it was esp funny when her slippers nearly got swept away by the flood and she was acting all depressed in the morning. i wanted to laugh so bad. only i didnt dare to laugh loudly. hahaha. yea. so we went to bathe. the toilets were so clean and nice!! nd we had like cook food. real nice. not like. from a can. :/


did rock climbing and practiced belaying. i tell you tamago nearly killed me. when i let go of that stopid pole she didnt even hold the rope la! luck i like held on to the metal thing. [and i screamed at her, "tamago! you wanna kill poeple ah!" but i mean i got a shock] then i still had to like. stand there and wait for her to get ready. _-_ . went for rock climbing. i reached the top!! like four times. i mean i climbed halfway and didnt wanna continue cos i was just dying. [dont ask why] but of course no one would let me go down until i reached the top. and i kept like falling every few seconds which just proves how tired i was. so i would like gather all my energy and climb to to top and touch that rock. then i would fall. so this continued like three times. and i just wanted to die. until the forth time i touched it for a little longer and they let me go down. like whatever la. i know im a loser. oh and that tamago lai was in front of me and climbed up sooo fast. i was her belayer and i jsut wanted to die. she was like some stuoud monkey stretchching here and there and she reached the top in two mins and i had to like pull and pull the rope!? yea. so after dinner. we had to trek back. in the dark. it was freaky i tell you.

ohohoh! and i founded my first ever allergy: fibre glass. oh goodness it sucked. even ducttape didnt work and it hurted all over my arm. ever one just had to hit me there. then we gave cindy the nickname ducttape! hahaha. i thought of it. grins.


day3:
trekked like 3km though it felt more like 10. carrying our heavy bags and the stoopid tent. i just wanted to die. ok id didnt, that iwas the day i started feeling better. yea so out campsite was this erm antsy place. and our toilet was this peice of emtpy ground facing the sea. so whenever you wanted to pee you had to go in this big group and have someone bring a poncho to cover you. and when you wanted to shit you had to dig a six inch deep hole. hah. oh and we had a bathe in the quarry. after this boat bulding activity. out boat was olopocram. which is marco polo backwards. yes i thought of it again, (: i think its quite smart la. anw the bopat like sucked. ebverything fell apart. so too bad. yea. so the queary was fuhfun./ we swam around and did weird stuff like slapping cindy. anw she like blocked of out hands so many time. like trust us already! haha. then we played like. snowwhite and thwe seven dwarfs. and cindy was snow white and tamago was the prince. so cindy got like freaked out and started swimming away and tamago was chasing after her calling "wo de mei ren!!" haha. the water was so nice. (:


day 4:
we kayaked round the island! like 16km and we only stopped once. who hasnt seen my tan? which i had even though it started raining halfway?and my stupid partner chering was laughing at me becuase i was scremaing then my tan was gone. but it was fun anyway. even though irritating poeple kept like bumping into us. after a while we got like paraniod. and started screaming at people who came near us. holding out our oars saying, "nonon. yr nopt coming near us" then we would push their boat away. haha. oh and i was singing the sailor song! i mean it was just so.. apt. haha. then when it started raining i sang with christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm. and i smiled at the storm. cos christ was with me. haha.
when it was rainign i stated thinking of hot milo!! like how nice it would taste. then we were like shivering in this room they brought us too. and everyone was talking about what they watned. and i said i wanted a hot bathe. and hot milo. then at that moment, the door opened and a hand holding a bottle stuck in. and the person holding the bottle was like.. hot milo. aahh!!!!


had like. out last dinner. cambell soup./ yumyumyum.


day5:
nth much la. just left la. pretty sad cos we got bonded unknowingly. and yea. went back in a speed boat. coolness!! then we went and had ice cream and stuffs. hahahahahahahahahaha. came back. and when i lay on the bed, oh my goodness. i was soo nice i wanted to cry!! boohooo